Breathing Room...

Onward and Upward

2011-08-05T23:12:00.000-05:00

"After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb." ~~~Nelson Mandela

So it's been quite a summer so far...full of changes, periods of transition, and uncertainty.

I often find that during times like these, just when I start to feel like I have reached a point where I can rest and catch my breath, that's when I'm faced with another challenging situation.I've had enough experience to know that change is not a bad thing, but it is usually stressful. Change is one of those things that, by it's very nature, is designed to keep me on my toes.

It's frustrating to be presented with something that I thought had been dealt with, particularly when the situation is painful; I would much rather deal with it once, rather than having to revisit it at a later date.

One of those areas is what some may call "character defects"...those quirky, pesky little ways of reacting to a situation in a less than optimal way.

For example, one of mine is taking things personally...things that, in reality, don't have anything to do with me. While I have gotten MUCH better in this area, every once in awhile, this little monster comes back unexpectedly to bite me...today was one of those days.

Several years ago, I would have used a situation like the one I found myself in today to berate myself; today I know that it was a crappy day and tomorrow will be better. I don't have to feel like a victim and instead, I can instead focus on all the things I have to be grateful for. Tomorrow is another day and I have another chance to do things differently. For now, I can remind myself that, fundamentally, all is well.

I think that this might be one of those lessons that will be revisited from time to time for many years to come...

just.keep.going!

That's life....

2011-06-29T21:56:00.000-05:00

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."
— Oscar Wilde

It has been awhile...sorry for my absence...I've missed you!

There have been some (good) changes in my life recently and it's taken time for me to get acclimated to less flexibility in my schedule.

Change affects people differently: some feel threatened, some feel scared, some thrive on the uncertainty of it all.

That's the thing about life...you just never know what's coming around the next corner.

Some people do everything in their power to feel "in control"...they are rarely successful. You're setting yourself up to fail...much like trying to push a boulder uphill.

Some people would rather stay in painful situations than face the unknown...this is what I imagine Wilde meant when he referred to those people who merely "exist".

I understand and empathize with both types of people, because that used to be me.

Here's what I have learned from that phase of my life:

*There are innumerable opportunities for joy and growth that you will miss if you are unwilling to venture out of your comfort zone.

*You never know what's in store for you....and you won't find out if you don't get off your rump and try something different.

*Life is not a dress rehearsal...you don't get to do a dry run to iron out all the kinks...you learn as you go and mistakes are part of the process.

*If at first you don't succeed...try something else!

*Sometimes you just have to hold your breath and jump!

My life has not been easy at times...but each painful experience was part of my journey and needed to happen to get me where I am NOW.

....and I like where I am now...it's pretty darn good.

And it's unlike anything I could have imagined when I was trying to "control" all the pieces of the puzzle.

Can't wait to see what tomorrow has in store.....

Reborn...

2011-05-19T22:27:00.000-05:00

"Every second chance begins with a first step." ~~~ Unknown

5.20.01...

...the day that I started my journey... although I didn't know it at the time. It's funny how one decision can change your life in unimaginable ways. I was sick and tired of the burden that my life had become and was desperate enough to try something new...to take a step in a new direction...to shed the baggage that had been suffocating me.

As I have shared before, up until this point, I would have rather done just about anything other than make a change, but sometimes it's more painful to stay than to go and you become willing to try something different...to venture off the familiar path into the unknown...to step away from what you've always done.

5.19.01 was the day that I reached that point...and so, I took a chance and took the first step into the unknown.

I have never regretted that decision.

Tomorrow, it will be ten years since I took that first tentative step. The last ten years have been...a ride unlike any I could have ever imagined. I am so very grateful to all the people who have guided and supported me along the way...I could never have made it to this day without you.

To all of my fellow travelers....THANK YOU!

5.20.11

Changes

2011-05-18T16:03:00.000-05:00

"If you want your life to be a magnificent story

Then begin by realizing that you are the author

And everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page"

— Mark Houlahan

It's been awhile....how are things in your world?

There are lots of (good) changes happening in my neck of the woods... sometimes when it rains, it pours. This is one of those times.

Not too long ago, I was incredibly resistant to change of any kind...even when I was in an uncomfortable or painful situation, my preference was to stay with what was familiar. In some odd way, it felt safer to me at the time.

That is no longer true.

While I can't say that I am a big fan of change now, I am willing to take the necessary steps to make improvements when I need to. What I have learned is that the sooner I become willing to release my grip on whatever I'm clinging to (job, relationship, behavior, belief) and make space for something new to enter my life, change becomes a much easier concept to embrace. That slight shift, however small it may be, is often enough to allow me to view my situation from a different perspective. It allows me to be flexible and flexibility usually leads to movement, which can often lead to change.

At least that's how it has worked in my life.

The journey thus far has not always been smooth...in fact, it has been pretty rocky at times. But, it's remarkable what lies in store when you are willing to take risks and say "Yes!" to life...I had no idea how good it could be.

Dream a little dream...

2011-04-22T13:03:00.000-05:00

"You'll see it when you believe it."
— Wayne W. Dyer

Remember when you were a child and someone asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up? What did you say?

An astronaut?

A ballerina?

A football star?

The President?

Doctor, lawyer, scientist?

There were no limits to what you could imagine for yourself.

But childhood ends and with it, the gift of limitless possibility. We grow older, become more jaded, experience the pains of heartbreak and disappointment, and close off that lushly creative part of ourselves. We become "practical", "realistic" adults. What a shame...

Now, I'm not saying that blind innocence and naivete is a better option. What I am saying, however, is that we can miss an amazing opportunity to give ourselves permission to dream again, as we did when we were kids. How can you know if something is impossible if you don't try? How can you know what dream is "too big" if you don't go to your edge? How many times have you heard of someone who, against all odds, has done something that no one else believed was possible?

Here are just a few examples:

the Wright Brothers

Thomas Edison

Rosa Parks

Michelangelo Buonarroti

Leonardo da Vinci

Coco Chanel

Mahatma Gandhi

Madonna

Nelson Mandela

Louise Hay

Close your eyes...imagine your deepest desire...your wildest dream....got it?

Now, what's stopping you from making it come true?

Be.Here.Now.

2011-04-18T16:23:00.000-05:00

"Nothing is worth more than this day."
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I occasionally get stuck in my head, analyzing and obsessing on what could have been, what could be around the corner, and all the ways I could've done _______ differently (better).

I know I'm not alone in this behavior.

While I don't engage in this nearly as much as I used to (all the time), for the last few weeks, I've been indulging myself a little too much in these old habits. There are a few items on my obsession list right now; of course, I have absolutely NO control over any of them---I am well aware of that. However, that knowledge has not prevented me from obsessing about them; in fact, my pesky little brain has gotten quite creative in the way it returns to each one, after I have sworn off thinking about them.

I know that I am letting my fears get the better of me. I am trying to maintain some control over future events that are beyond my control. Sounds crazy, huh? Yes, I know.

I was in a yoga class last week and the teacher suggested an amazingly appropriate intention for the class: staying in the moment. For a full hour, we were encouraged and reminded to stay present. Through each pose, through each breath, through each transition, our focus was to move from one individual moment to the next.

At the end of the class, I felt incredible! I was renewed, focused, peaceful, and best of all, had not obsessed for a full hour!

There are so many things that can make us feel overwhelmed, out of balance, or out of control; so many different manifestations of our fears can consume our thoughts and make life seem unmanageable.
The only remedy that I have found to work consistently is to bring myself back to the present moment. Often easier said than done, but I know it works. From there, I can find gratitude, acceptance, and the ability to see the issue more realistically (not SUPER SIZE, like it seems to be when I'm obsessing).

So, here's my thought for the day: stay present. Appreciate THIS moment... then the next....and the next.
After all, THIS moment is really all there is...until the next one, right?
And in THIS moment, things are pretty darn good!

Choose again...

2011-04-08T18:27:00.000-05:00

A belief is only a thought I keep thinking.

~~~Abraham-Hicks

Thoughts contain an amazing amount of power. There was a time when I felt that I was at the mercy of the negative, obsessive thoughts that plagued me, day in and day out. It was like being on a hamster wheel, with no escape route in sight. Held captive on this wheel, my thoughts would spin faster and faster in progressively tighter circles, until I was so wound up I thought I would burst! The irony of this situation was that the behavior had become so ingrained, that I couldn't see the insanity of it.

Thankfully, things have changed.

Now I know that the power to choose the thoughts I focus upon is mine. I learned that my perception affects everything: if I choose to focus on what's wrong or what's "lacking", then I will only be able to see the problems, not the solutions. If, on the other hand, I choose to look through the lens of gratitude and acceptance, I can appreciate the beauty, in all its forms, that surrounds me on a daily basis.

Bottom line...negative thoughts feel bad, positive ones feel good.

If I choose to dwell in negativity or pessimism, then my life looks pretty bleak and I'm no fun to be around (heck, I don't even want to be around myself!)

If I choose to look for the positive, good feeling things, life looks (and feels) pretty good.

Like attracts like.

Misery loves company.

Which do YOU choose?

Reach for a thought that feels better.

~~~Abraham-Hicks

Just.Say.NO (thank you)!

2011-04-05T10:33:00.000-05:00

"We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity." - By Barbara de Angelis

Clearing out space does not always involve a physical housecleaning. Sometimes the clutter that is weighing us down or holding us back manifests as negative thoughts or beliefs that no longer ring true with the person we have become. In many cases, we may have surrounded ourselves with like-minded people when we were in that negative state of mind...misery loves company after all, right? When we make changes in our attitudes and outlook, there is a shift, and those beliefs ( and people) no longer complement our new mindset.

Letting go is not always an easy process. Change is difficult for most people. But in order to move forward, we must release the baggage that is hindering our progress. Not everyone is ready or willing to make the journey. Letting go can be sad, but it can be done with love and kindness. Whether it's an outdated belief that no longer serves you or a relationship that has come to an end, you can say thank you and wish them well....then let go and move on.

Surrender to what is...

2011-03-28T15:07:00.000-05:00

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."

— Laozi

I learned long ago that there are no coincidences. I believe that everything that happens in life is part of a greater plan and I am privy to only a portion of the larger picture at any given moment. Some of the most meaningful periods of my life have started as the most painful.

I am in a phase of transition.

Transition, by its very nature, is messy and confusing; struggle just pushes you deeper in the muck. I envision a pool of quicksand...the more I thrash around, trying to get out of the messy predicament I find myself in, the more stuck and deeply enmeshed in the mess I become.

I once read that baby chicks break out of their shell because to remain within their incubated environment would kill them...the atmosphere that once sustained them in their embryonic state has now become toxic. And so it is with us...

My yoga teacher made a statement in class today that resonated with me. She was referring to connecting with our breath in our practice. She said that surrender makes room for release--you can go deeper into a pose when you let go and focus your breath on the location of the tension within your body. When you are gripping (imagine a clenched fist), there is no room for movement. When you relax (imagine the same fist opening up), you find space that was not available moments before.

I can apply that to my current state: if I allow myself to become consumed with fear, I will remain consumed with fear and nothing will change. If I release my grip even the tiniest amount, the faintest whisper of faith can come in...there is space for movement and with movement comes change.

Change is good.

Change invites unlimited possibility.

Change means that you don't have to stay stuck.

You are limited only by your imagination...get connected to that little voice within you...that's your heart speaking to you.

Listen...

Break through....

2011-03-19T14:36:00.000-05:00

"The flowers in the mountains have broken through the rocks"

— Tennessee Williams (Camino Real)

Wow! It's been awhile....and yet, surprisingly, I was at a loss when trying to decide the topic for today's post.

Then...

inspiration struck...

in the form of a Tennesee Williams quote (brilliant playwright, by the way...).

So, persistence is the topic du jour.

It's funny how some challenges respond better to forceful effort, while others respond better to the gentle, consistent kind. Strength is not always characterized by being the biggest, loudest, pushiest person in the room. Sometimes, true strength is measured by diligence and the ability to suit up and show up, day after day, despite the challenges with which one is faced.

The image that comes to mind is the majestic sight of the Grand Canyon. Although I have not yet had the opportunity to see it in person, I have been deeply moved by photographs taken by friends who have visited this marvelous place.

Just think...a single drop of water from the Colorado River, millions of years ago, was the humble beginning of the monument that is visible today. I am in awe that, by the process of erosion, over time, water can wear away something as solid as a boulder. I use this as a motivational reminder when I find myself facing a challenge that seems insurmountable...like that drop of water, if I show up consistently and do what is within my power to do, eventually that obstacle will be worn down.

I am often faced with similar situations with my clients: for example, the piles of clothing in their closets or paperwork on their desks has become overwhelming...they feel paralyzed and don't know where to begin. Often, when we begin to tackle the piles, it may not appear as though we are making progress...at first. Tackling clutter is a process and it requires patience and diligence, as most challenges do. You have to weed through the items in order to determine what stays and what is no longer needed. There are no magic shortcuts to getting the job done.

But, once the process has begun, you are on your way and soon, you will find that we have eliminated the clutter that has been weighing you down and all the things you need are neatly stored and easily accessible.

You have cleared the space and now have room to breathe!

So, just remember...

when you are faced with a challenge, just keep showing up and do what you can do, however small it may seem...

eventually you will break through!

Feel the fear, but keep going!

2011-02-26T23:11:00.000-06:00

Believe deep down in your heart that you're destined to do great things. ~ Joe Paterno

Fear is an emotion that I am all too familiar with. The funny thing is that I've only been able to admit that for the last 10 years or so. I was bound and determined never to admit that I was afraid...that would mean allowing myself to be vulnerable and I worked too hard on my "tough" exterior to do that!

While I now understand that acting "tough" was a self-protective defense tactic that worked for a short time ( or did it?), I also know now that it kept me cut me off from other people. I didn't allow any cracks in that armor...someone might see my flaws and weaknesses and (horrors!)realize that I was not so tough after all. That strategy left me sick, exhausted, and alone.

I have learned alot about myself in the last decade and,as a result of some significant life events, made some major changes in the way I live and view my life.

So imagine my surprise (annoyance) when old behaviors started popping back up recently!

As I write these words, I now realize that I am reverting back to old behaviors: I'm trying to force my way through some uncomfortable feelings.

I am in a place of uncertainty and I am letting fear get the better of me. Fear is insidious; it convinces me that, not only will I fail, but that I am a failure. Over the years, I have acquired a set of tools that usually help me combat this monster, but my tools are a little rusty and not working too well at the moment. The voice of fear is drowning out the loving voice of faith. It's wearing me down.

One of the best things I can do is share my feelings so, dear readers, I hope you will indulge me tonight. I am exposing my vulnerable side in the most revealing way I can think of.I am shining a light on my fear publicly, in the hopes that it might help someone else who may feel alone with theirs. We are never alone, no matter how isolated our fears may make us feel.

I need to remember that, fundamentally, everything is ok. I am in a place of transition which, by its very nature, is a place of uncertainty. It's a process, and this is just one of the messy parts. So I will clean out the fear-based thoughts by talking about them, and by exposing them, their tight grip will loosen and I will be able to breathe again.

I found the opening quote on the page of a new Facebook friend. I thought it was inspiring and shared it on my own page. I now realize that I need to say those words to myself, as a daily affirmation, until this fear subsides. And it will pass...everything does.

Just.Let.Go!

2011-02-15T23:01:00.000-06:00

"Letting go is the lesson. Letting go is always the lesson. Have you ever noticed how much of our agony is all tied up with craving and loss?"

— Susan Gordon Lydon

One of the ironies of life is that the tighter you hold on to a problem, the tighter it holds on to you.

Consider this:

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by life? Like the direction from your inner GPS is garbled? Have you ever gotten to a point where it feels like you've tried everything and nothing is working?

Frustrating, huh?

In the past, this feeling would have been the perfect excuse for me to "check out"...take a mini vacation from my life.

That didn't work too well either...

Here's a tip that I have learned from experience:

The more you ignore a problem, the worse it gets. Avoidance does not eliminate the problem. Instead, avoidance is like throwing a match on a puddle of gasoline...

It's hard to admit that you are faced with something that you are unable to handle on your own. There are all sorts of issues that prevent us from asking for help: fear, pride, and denial are just a few.

In my business, I work with people who struggle with clutter and organizational challenges. Many have told me that they were ashamed to ask for help. They have also shared the sense of relief they felt once they were willing to admit that they were unable to do the work on their own.

Why is asking for help so difficult?

Admitting that you need help strips you of your sense of control, but "control" is often an illusion. Holding onto something that, in reality does not exist isn't practical. It just keeps you stuck.

So, what can you do?

Clear out a little space to breathe...

The irony about holding on to something that no longer serves you is that you can't make room for something new to take its place...there's just not enough room! Sometimes making room for something new is quite literal and sometimes it's a metaphorical exercise that requires patience. In both cases, you are not only letting go of something, but you are also making changes and it will take time for them to become your new habits.

So, be gentle on yourself...and ask for help when you need it!

There are no coincidences...

2011-01-30T00:21:00.000-06:00

"Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives - choice, not chance, determines your destiny."

— Aristotle

My meditation teacher was in town last week. Poor guy, in from L.A. on one of the coldest days of the year. One of the things that impressed me most was his attitude...he didn't complain, he just rolled with it.
Sure, January in Chicago is cold; in fact, all things considered (and compared to the people on the East Coast who have gotten clobbered by snow this year), this has been a relatively mild winter.
Yet...
last week was bitterly cold and I wanted to avoid being outside at all costs.
However...
I have been unable to attend his meditation sessions the last several months due to conflicts in my schedule...I certainly wasn't going to miss this one. I have fallen off the Vedic wagon, so to speak. I've been neglecting my practice and I've definitely felt the difference. I needed a refresher, a reminder, some words of wisdom to get me going again.
And so...
I bundled up and headed out to Wicker Park.
...am I glad I did!

He closed the session by sharing a story about an experience he had several years ago. It was a lesson in listening to inner guidance. He had a plan, he said...but life doesn't always go according to plans.
Sometimes we just need to stay flexible and open to unexpected opportunities that present themselves.
Sometimes those detours which can be so frustrating are actually guiding you to where you're REALLY meant to be.
For example, have you ever gotten delayed or had a last minute cancellation which led to you being somewhere you hadn't planned to be? Have you ever struck up a conversation with someone who later became a significant contact? Has a line in that book you're reading struck a chord with you that led you to reflect on your past life choices and decide to do things differently? Have you been toying with the idea of making a change (job? return to school? move to a new city? country?) and then you find references to that change all around you? (a college brochure on the table at your local coffeehouse? an article on that new city in the Sunday paper? a friend who just happens to know of an opening at that company you've been thinking about applying to?)
Some might call it luck or coincidence or fate...I don't know that the name is really important.
I do think it's important to recognize how quickly the direction of our lives can change based on the decisions we make. We are responsible for making informed decisions, but we also must be respectful of our inner guidance system. The less obstructed we are with the thoughts and concerns that distract us from the present moment, the more in tune we become to our inner wisdom.
For me, it is an ongoing process, keeping that channel unobstructed. It's an act of faith as well. Oftentimes, it can feel like jumping off into the abyss...it can be unsettling and scary. The unknown is like that. It's particularly frightening for someone like me, who doesn't like surprises (much).
But here's the good news...
I have had enough experiences that have turned out better than I could have ever imagined, just because I took a chance; somewhere deep inside, I had faith that everything would be ok and I would be taken care of...even if I didn't have a clear picture of how that would turn out. That's not to say that every chance I took turned out well...but each mis-step has been a learning opportunity and has led me to exactly where I am at this moment.

And that place is pretty darn good...
so...trust yourself...listen to that hunch...stay open...and see what happens!

Birds of a feather...

2011-01-21T09:41:00.001-06:00

Today's message seems to concern the power of my thoughts. As I sit here, savoring my first cup of coffee and checking my email, I am struck by the similarities in the messages in my inbox: Law of Attraction, motivational affirmations, optimism vs. pessimism, happiness is 'contagious', etc.

I reflected on my own experiences...

As I have shared in earlier posts, I used to be a cynical, negative person. I focused on all the things that were going wrong in my life, how I was a victim of my circumstances, and all the conspiracy theories I could dream up to support the current state of my experience. No wonder I was miserable! I was looking at my world through defective 'glasses.' I was also surrounding myself with people who thought the same way that I did...misery loves company, right?

The 'silver lining' of a particularly difficult period in my life is that I learned that the way in which I view my world is up to me. I have a choice whether to focus on the positive or negative aspects of my life. For example, I can choose to complain about the bitter cold that we are experiencing in Chicago today, or I can choose to focus on the crystal blue, sunny skies outside my window and be grateful that I have a roof over my head, food in the refrigerator, and HEAT!

One of the articles I read this morning talked about how "the company you keep affects your perception of the world" (www.owningpink.com/blogs/owning-pink/the-most-influential-power).

What an interesting concept...

This phenomenon has occurred several times in my life. Last summer, as I pursued a new leg on my spiritual path, I found myself encountering new, positive, inspirational people. It was remarkable! Within the course of a month, I had met 5 outstanding people who embodied outlooks that I wanted to emulate and I was excited to learn more...I wanted to soak up every drop of positive goodness that I felt when I was in their company.It was intoxicating...
This also helped me to reexamine some toxic, negative relationships that I was still hanging on to...the amazing thing is that those people started to choose other people to hang out with! Misery loves company, right?

Choice is powerful and empowering.If you don't like your present state of mind, you can choose again. Choose responsibly,choose what feels right to you...but remember:
There is power in the collective nature of our thoughts...choose wisely!

Oh, the possibilities....

2011-01-14T00:01:00.000-06:00

We can't plan life. All we can do is be available for it.

- Lauryn Hill

I am continually amazed by how, when I stop trying to orchestrate the events in my life, the most amazing things happen!

In the past week, I have made a conscious effort to simply remain open to possibility...in my life, in my work, in my everyday encounters.

I have stepped outside of my comfort zone in conversations with new people and have tried to engage with people on a more personal level. Something as simple as saying hello to the person standing in line ahead of me at my favorite local coffee spot can lead to the most remarkable conversations....

What I have learned is that I can sometimes become so focused on the next task on my mental to-do list that I miss the opportunity to connect with the people around me. The events of this week, while not earth-shattering, have helped me to reflect on the ways in which I have been un-available for my life. I cannot focus on "what might have happened if...?", but I can let this serve as a reminder, once again, to be present.

Give it a try:

suit up, show up, and live your life consciously.

You never know what might happen...

Give peace a chance...

2011-01-09T12:57:00.001-06:00

My prayers go out to all those affected by the senseless shooting in Arizona yesterday.

In with the new (attitude)!

2011-01-04T10:03:00.001-06:00

Whatever you're thinking about is literally like planning a future event. When you're worrying, you are planning. When you are appreciating, you are planning...What are you planning?

Abraham Hicks

I hope you all had a fantastic New Year's! I am committed to making 2011 the best year it can be. I am excited to see what unfolds this year.

A few days ago, I was directed to a 'youtube' clip that has had a huge impact on me and I would like to share it with you.( I have attached a link to the clip below.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SwTx7dM9NI

I have decided to saturate myself in positivity this year! 2011 will be my year of positive thinking. I know from past experience that a positive attitude shifts my life experience. Being around positive people, reading inspirational positive material, positive affirmations all contribute to this shift. I have made the choice to concentrate on this area of my life. I am committed to making the world a better place and I believe that my small contribution, combined with the efforts of other like-minded people, can do that.

Won't you join me?

Will Smith Wisdom

2011-01-04T09:45:00.000-06:00

Out with the old.....

2010-12-30T10:04:00.000-06:00

"You raze the old to raise the new."
— Justina Chen Headley

Santa Claus has come and gone and the clock is ticking down to the last days of 2010. Oh my, what a year it's been! So many changes...new growth, new discoveries, shedding the old to make way for the new.

And so it is with change...it's a process of rebirth. Whether the change is physical (losing weight, cutting your hair) or situational (new job, new home, new city, marriage, divorce, birth of a child), the process involves letting go of the past to make room for the future.

With each transformation, you need to carve out a little space ( a little "Breathing Room", if you will!), to get adjusted to the change and your place in it. There's a brilliant author named William Bridges who has written several books on the process of change and transition; he refers to that in-between place as the Neutral Zone. In the Neutral Zone, you may feel confused, out of sorts, unsure of your next step. That's the point. You need that time and that space to adjust, reflect, and contemplate...there's a lot of inner work to be done. There is no set time table for how long each of us remains in this phase of the process...but doing your time here is essential to any successful transition. Keep that in mind as you contemplate your new years resolutions...

As 2010 draws to a close, we are not only saying goodbye to the last 365 days, but also to the first decade of the 21st century. Take some time to reflect on all the ways your life has changed.

What were your hopes and dreams as you entered the new Millenium? You're not the same person you were then...are you happy with the changes you've made? Still more work to be done?

What are your hopes and dreams as we enter the new year? How to you plan on achieving your goals? I hope you'll share some here...you never know who you might inspire and you might find the help and support you need to make those dreams come true.

Wishing you all peace, joy, good health, and happiness in 2011...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Merry Christmas...

2010-12-23T08:18:00.000-06:00

"Christmas, my child, is love in action."

~ Dale Evans (1912-2001), American film actress, singer and songwriter. Wife of Roy Rogers.

Christmas is a just a few days and 2010 is drawing to a close. What a year it's been!

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and all the very best in the new year.

I hope you all enjoy your friends and family and take a few moments from the hustle and bustle to soak in the spirit of the holidays.

Love the people you're with, but don't forget to save some time to love yourself: take a walk, take a bubble bath, take a nap, spend some time reflecting on all the things you're grateful for. Care for yourself as you would a dear friend. During this busy holiday season, we often get so caught up trying to get everything done (shopping, baking, parties, etc), that we often neglect ourselves.

I love the quote from Dale Evans which opens this post...Christmas is all about love! But as she reminds us, love is a verb...it's something we do, it's an action.

So take care of yourself this holiday season so you are able to truly love the people in your life.

Smile at the people you pass in the street, thank your UPS driver or mailman, wish the cashier at Trader Joe's a happy holiday when you're rushing in to pick up that last minute ingredient. Give out as many hugs as you can and tell the people in your life how much they mean to you...why not? It's Christmas!

Make this Christmas all about spreading love!

(((((((HUG))))))

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!!

Make the change...

2010-12-12T20:21:00.000-06:00

"The thought manifests as the word;

The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings...

As the shadow follows the body, as we think, so we become."
— Siddhārtha Gautama

Our minds are incredibly powerful devices. We are capable of improving our lives simply by changing the way we think. Have you ever noticed how attractive positive people are? By that I am not referring to a person's physical attributes; rather I mean how others are drawn to them simply because of their outlook on life. There's an old adage which states, "Like attracts like." Positive people are a joy to be around and people who have a negative outlook seem to attract more negativity.

I used to be a cynical, negative person; now I try to look for the silver lining in every situation. I firmly believe that we are surrounded by beauty, and that miracles are within reach, if we are able to shift our perspective so that we can see them.

Like anything else, changing your perspective requires learning and practicing new behaviors and, perhaps more importantly, unlearning the way that we used to view the world.

We are pulled in so many different directions in today's world; we have commitments and are often over-scheduled. For many of us, the first item to get edited from our mental 'to-do' list is some form of self-care: healthy eating habits, exercise, spiritual practice, etc.

Sometimes it seems easier to skip the workout, grab a quick bite on the run, or hit the 'snooze' button for a few extra minutes of sleep. It's easy to fall into that habit...but certainly not in your best interest.

Just as it's possible to learn new ways of viewing the world, you can also establish new habits in other areas of your life. It starts with a desire to make a change... and it requires action and conviction to make the shift.

One website that I have found to be helpful is www.habitforge.com.

Just register on the site and pick the area you'd like to change...you'll receive a reminder email for the next 21 days. "Habitforge" keeps a tally of the days that you successfully complete the desired change. This has worked well for me because it keeps me accountable.

In the last few posts, I mentioned incorporating more yoga into my exercise routine and eating better. I am happy to report that I made it to yoga 5 out of 7 days that week and ate reasonably well. This week has been more challenging because the holiday festivities are in full swing. However, I am happy with my efforts and know that I can continue to reinforce these new habits.

Just remember, when you feel stuck....you always have a choice!

If you don't like where you are, choose again!!!

Astound yourself!

2010-12-04T12:14:00.000-06:00

"If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves."

— Thomas A. Edison

Snow was in the forecast this weekend, and sure enough, we got hit in the middle of the night. This is the first official snowfall of the season and several inches of accumulation are predicted.

PERFECT excuse to stay in the warmth and coziness of my home and skip my yoga commitment, right?

I even surprised myself when I started getting dressed (in layers) to take another new class at the new studio this morning. And am I ever glad I did!

WOW!

The class is called yoga sculpt: imagine a one hour vinyasa class in a heated room...with hand weights.

I ran into a friend in the locker room...nice surprise...and she raved about the class..she was absolutely right. Kicked...my...butt!

I feel FABULOUS and ready to take on the world. Times like this make me wonder why I have such a hard time motivating myself to work out...

Here's what I think...

Just like any other habit, good or bad, falling off the exercise "wagon" was a gradual process. I have to remind myself that it's going to take time to form a new habit of working out and taking better care of my physical health. It will be helpful if I can also remind myself to be gentle with myself as I go through the process, celebrating my victories and showing up to try again when I slip up.

I am essentially in the process of clearing out the 'clutter' that is keeping me from reaching my goals: excuses, laziness, lack of motivation. All these things have kept me stuck and unable to move forward. I have reached a point where I am ready to make a change, and I am asking for help and support in reaching my goals. I am holding myself accountable by sharing the process with you all here in this blog.

"Clutter" can keep us stuck in many areas of our lives...not just in the physical realm, but also emotionally. Oftentimes, physical clutter is symbolic of inner turmoil or confusion or fear; holding on to items that no longer serve a positive purpose in our lives can simply be fear of letting go of the past in order to move into the unknown future. But the unknown, unsettling as it may be, is full of opportunities as well...and you'll never know what surprises are in store for you if you keep yourself tethered to the past.

So...what are you holding on to? What's keeping you stuck? What secret dream have you been holding on to? Isn't it about time to try it out?

Come on...take a chance...

astound yourself!

Believe in the possibilities...

2010-11-30T15:12:00.000-06:00

"Your own positive future begins in this moment. All you have is right now. Every goal is possible from here."

— Laozi

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving last week! Mine was filled with good food, great people, and a lot of gratitude...and yet...

Have you ever felt that there was one area of your life that could use some work, but just didn't know how to take that first step? Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the thought of starting something new or (finally!) taking steps to stop doing something that was no longer serving your best interests? Have you found yourself obsessing (just a little bit) about how things would be different if you could change that area of your life? Does the thought of all of this make you so exhausted that you just want to take a nap?

Sound familiar?

Yes, I know...I've been there too.

I am currently in this very place regarding my exercise routine (or lack thereof) and eating habits. This time of year is challenging for me because I love to bake and I LOVE to eat the finished product. I am a pro at procrastinating when it comes to working out, even though I always feel better when I do it.

I am incredibly empathetic to my Edited Space clients who struggle with organization. Making a decision to do something different is hard enough, but actually taking the action, whatever it may be, can be overwhelming! I understand that inner voice that says, "I know how to do this...I don't need any help." And I also understand the shame that comes with the realization that despite your good intentions, you have done the exact same thing...AGAIN!

What I have learned is that, in some areas of my life, I have to reach a certain level of discomfort before I am willing to change. I wish this wasn't the case, but it's true; however, acknowledging that there is a problem often speeds up the process. Asking for help can be critical to your success.

So...I made a decision to take steps to do things differently.

Over the last few days, I have shared my struggles with people whom I trust and asked for their help and support. Today was the day to begin making some changes.

I am happy to report that I went to a new yoga studio that I have been wanting to try. I have made a commitment to make at least 3 classes this week. It is a commitment to myself and my well-being. I will share my successes as well as my struggles with you in this forum and I hope that by doing so, I am helping someone else.

What are you struggling with? Have you reached your tipping point? Are you ready to consider making some changes? Are you ready to ask for help?

I love the quote by Laozi, which appears at the beginning of this post. It fills me with hope for a brighter future and reminds me that anything is possible.

I hope it inspires you as well.

Remember...anything is possible!

Thoughts on gratitude and happiness...

2010-11-22T22:13:00.001-06:00

"...happiness is above all a love of life....it is a purging of mental toxins, such as hatred and obsession, that literally poison the mind."

~~~Matthieu Ricard

I have recently started reading "Happiness", a book by Matthieu Ricard, a Buddhist monk who left a promising career in cellular genetics in his native France to move to Nepal and pursue his true calling. The book was recommended to me by a client who thought I might enjoy it; she was absolutely right! Everything that I have read so far has resonated deeply within me.

I have learned from my experiences over the last several years, just how powerful my attitude is in the way I view the events of my life. For years, I was a cynical, pessimistic person and, not surprisingly, my life was pretty miserable. I was devoid of hope and considered myself a victim of circumstance; I reacted to the events of my life and thought that everything (bad) happened to me. What I didn't know then was that I had choices, including a choice about how I looked at my life. I could focus on what was good rather than what, in my opinion, was bad or unfair.

This realization was a major turning point in my life! I felt empowered, rather than victimized. I could choose what to focus upon and, in doing so, shift my perspective. I felt like I has slipped on a new set of glasses, which enabled me to see the beauty around me that I had previously ignored. I felt happy.

For me, gratitude is inexorably linked to my level of happiness. The more grateful I am for what I have, the happier I am. I don't know how it works, but I know that it does.

We are faced with a lot of challenges in today's world. It would be easy for me to sit back and focus on everything that is going wrong and all the material losses that many people have experienced. There is no denying that we are facing a time of major change. However, I believe that there is still a lot of good in the world. As I type those words, I realize that, to some, that may sound a bit like Pollyanna. That's ok by me.

I believe that our attitude shapes the world we live in. To quote one of my favorite authors, Dr, Wayne Dyer, "Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world."

For me, negativity is toxic and it feeds upon itself. Most days, I choose to look for the silver lining in a situation. It just works better for me. I know what my life was like before I realized I had a choice to look for the good or focus on the bad; I don't want to go back there. My life is better when I focus on the good stuff. I'm grateful that I know I have that choice.

So, in preparation for Thanksgiving, I will be in the kitchen baking biscotti, something that brings me immense joy. Tomorrow I will spend the day with many of the people I love, eating delicious food and reflecting on the blessings in our lives. I can't wait!

I am grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts with you in this blog. I would love to hear how gratitude has worked in your life.

Wishing you and yours a joyous Thanksgiving!

Take a deep breath...

2010-11-10T15:09:00.000-06:00

"Meditate. Breathe consciously. Listen. Pay attention. Treasure every moment. Make the connection."
— Oprah Winfrey

OK, so many of you know by now that I had to say goodbye to my baby, Harley, last week. My beautiful, furry ball of unconditional love has been with me through all the trials and joys of the last 16 years. He was my heart and I miss him terribly. But I am also grateful for all the years we spent together and the valuable lessons he taught me.

I experienced a major life change almost 10 years ago. I could never have imagined all the gifts that would appear as a result of turning a corner that would change my life forever. In many ways, I feel that I got a second chance, that I was reborn. Never again would I look at life in quite the same way.

The last 10 years have not always been easy...but it's been a helluva ride! My whole life has opened up, to varying degrees, because I learned how to take responsibility for my actions, ask for help, and show up, even when I didn't feel like it. I have also discovered that we are incredibly resilient creatures and have access to an inner fortitude that we don't always know exists. I have come to believe that people are inherently good at heart. (This has been proven to me more times than I can count, which essentially knocked the cynicism right out of me!)

But perhaps most importantly, I now understand that, fundamentally, we are not all that different from the next person. We all share many of the same hopes and dreams and fears. We all appreciate being treated kindly and having the opportunity to do the same for another person.

I have mentioned in previous posts that, like many people, I am no stranger to loss. After last week's events, I now find myself right smack back in the middle of the grieving process...one I vehemently dislike, by the way. I hate feeling out of control and dominated by emotions that won't "behave." I have been here before, and I know that the only way to get through this is to go through this. ( I seriously wish there was another way, but sadly, no one consulted me when that little rule was made up!)

But one of the gifts of having been in this spot before is that I also know that joy and beauty and happiness have not disappeared, simply because I feel bad. They are always there, just waiting for me to focus on them. I learned this lesson, several years ago, after a particularly painful loss. I was a few months into the grieving process, surviving each day in a kind of automated state. I wasn't fully present for anything during those months. I was numb. One morning, I opened my eyes and saw the sunrise, something I had done many other mornings, but this time it was different. I was fully present in that moment and really saw the sunrise. It was a very symbolic moment for me because I felt that I was reawakening to my life in a completely new way. I realized how much I had missed out on simply because I was too busy or preoccupied to notice. I vowed not to make that mistake again.

So, as I begin this process once again, I will try to remember to be gentle with myself, accept help graciously, express my love and gratitude to the people in my life, and treasure each and every moment.

Letting go....

2010-11-06T22:01:00.001-05:00

"It's possible to go on, no matter how impossible it seems, and that in time, the grief… lessens. It may not go away completely, but after a while it's not so overwhelming."
— Nicholas Sparks

This was a very emotional week. My cat, who I've had for 16 years, suddenly stopped eating and, after many tests, was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer. On Friday, his 16th birthday, I had to put him to sleep. I held him in my arms while they gave him the sedative that would stop his heart. I felt like my own heart was being ripped out of my chest...and I said goodbye.

This is the second time I have had to euthanize a sick cat. It sucks. The pain is suffocating. And if that wasn't enough, now the grief process begins.

Like many people, I am no stranger to the grieving process. It's overwhelming and there are no shortcuts for getting through it. It is the ultimate test of surrendering control. You could say it's the 'final exam' for letting go...

I am blessed to have an amazing group of people in my life. I have been supported through every step of the events of the past week. I am grateful that I've been able to accept the help that's been offered to me. After we left the ER, I wanted nothing more than to be alone with my grief and memories of my baby...thankfully I was with two people who love me and they gently insisted that I should not be alone.

It reminded me of another time in my life where I was in just enough pain that I was able let go of my futile attempts at control and accept the loving help that was being offered to me. This is not in my nature, but I know from experience that it's usually in my best interest.

So, thank you Harley for teaching me about unconditional love. A friend reminded me that now he will always be with me, like my own feline guardian angel. It comforts me to think that he has been reunited with his brother and others that have gone before him.

And thank you to my earth-bound guardian angels...for everything.

Love you!

xox

Dreams...

2010-11-01T09:08:00.000-05:00

"I'm telling you, people. Everyday we wake up is another blessing. Follow your dreams and don't let anyone stop you. Never say never."
— Justin Bieber

My friends will tell you, I am not "up" on all the latest music. I am an old soul, I guess, and, though it pains me to say this...I just don't get a lot of the new music. Give me the stuff I grew up on or give me some good old Louis Prima, John Coltrane, Miles Davis...you get the idea. So, I chuckled to myself when I found this quote from Justin Bieber. I know who this kid is, but know nothing about his music...based on this quote, I might see what all the fuss is about!

So, on to today's post!

I spent some time reflecting on how powerful it can be to "give voice" to your dreams. First, let me say that I think it is incredibly important to allow yourself to dream in the biggest, most creative way you can. Don't hold back...dream BIG! I think that some people ( I know I was once one of them) can get so bogged down in the minutia of practical, daily life "stuff" that they close themselves off to the beautiful possibilities that exist all around them. I imagine these possibilities as little pixies, waiting for us to acknowledge them, breathing life into them and giving them a chance to blossom. Acknowledging your innermost dreams can require a huge amount of faith, and sometimes involves working through some deeply rooted fears. There can be some serious "housecleaning" involved! I think our dreams often end up buried inside, covered up with years of accumulated fears: "what if"s, "I should've"s, "I can't"s, "it's too late"...you get the idea.

As I reflect upon my life this year I can see tremendous growth in some areas that I had struggled with in the past. Maybe it's just simply that I'm getting older...ugh...or maybe it's just the result of past events that led me to the place where I realized that I wanted to take some chances. For me, taking risks and following my dreams has had a snowball effect. It's amazing how things have turned out! To be fair, it hasn't all been wonderful, but if I have learned nothing else, I know that I don't have access to the "big picture." I believe there is a divine plan and I know I don't have all the pieces of the puzzle. I trust that things will ultimately work out the way they are meant to and that I will be taken care of.

A few months ago, I shared that I celebrated my birthday this year creating a "vision board" with some dear girlfriends. It was great fun, unleashing some creative juices, trying to find words and images to represent my deepest wishes and dreams. One of my friends, who had done this before, shared how powerful the experience of creating a vision board had been for her. She showed us one that she had made last year, and then pointed to everything that had manifested in her life since then. It was remarkable and very inspiring.

This morning, I looked at my own vision board...I was amazed to realize that some of my own wishes and dreams had started to come true! It was a very powerful moment for me.

I'm at a point in my life when the need to understand how things happen is not as important to me. And thank God for that! I used to get so tied up in trying to figure the how's and why's of a situation that I got stuck in that obsession. Now, I try to show up, do my part, and then get out of the way so that the universe can do its part.

For me, acknowledging and "giving voice" to my dreams is my way of saying yes to the possibilities. By denying your dreams or keeping them hidden you are essentially keeping yourself closed off to what could be...it's like shouting NO!

Remember when you were a little kid? If someone asked you what you wanted to be when you got older, what did you say? An astronaut? A ballerina? The President?

Anything was possible!

As children, we possess the most expansive and fertile imaginations...sadly, we tend to lose access to them as we get older. But, the good news is that that creativity is not lost...

Why don't you try to dust off your imagination? Give yourself the chance to explore your innermost desires.

Give yourself the opportunity to believe, for a moment, that anything is possible.

Give yourself permission to dream...BIG!

Trust the process

2010-10-23T23:34:00.002-05:00

"If you are falling...dive!" ~~~ Joseph Campbell

Sometimes inspiration comes from the most unexpected places...

I took part in a workshop tonight, led by my friend, Debbie Taitel (www.spiritlightinsight.com). The workshop included a walking meditation around a labyrinth nearby. I have never walked a labyrinth before and was looking forward to the experience. About 2/3rds of the way through the process, I heard the Joseph Campbell quote (above) clearly in my head. It was repeated several times...almost like a mantra.

I was reminded of that old childhood game ( I think I may have mentioned this in a previous post), where one person stands with their back to another and, as a test of trust, falls backwards into the second person's arms. I mentioned to a friend who was also at the workshop that, several years ago, a co-worker and I used to play this game during the slow periods on Sundays at the store where we worked. He would sometimes wait until the last possible moment to catch me, and every time that happened, I would giggle like crazy. I think part of it was nervous laughter and part was sheer relief; I trusted him and knew he wouldn't let me fall, so there was a feeling of safety combined with the fear.

Campbell's quote reminds me to embrace the process...and jump right in! Change is scary and exciting and exhilarating...all at the same time. I have had enough experience to know that, a force greater than myself has always taken care of me, even when the outcome isn't exactly what I hoped for. It just reminds me that I don't have access to the bigger picture and what I think I want is not always what's best for me.

So, if you've already started the process of change, why not jump in with both feet? It's scary anyway, right?

Now, that's not to say, do something reckless...take the necessary precautions, do your homework, think things through, talk it over with a trusted friend. But at some point, you have to take action.

A wise friend once told me, "Life is not a dress rehearsal."

Live your life, really live it!

Dive right in...and enjoy!

Inner wisdom

2010-10-18T06:41:00.000-05:00

"Love life. Engage in it. Give it all you've got. Love it with a passion because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it."
— Maya Angelou

One of my favorite things about writing this blog is the opportunity I have to reflect on my life from a more objective, thoughtful place. I don't know about you but, sometimes, when I'm in the middle of a 'situation' (aka opportunity for growth), I am unable to see the positive aspects of it. When the 'situation' is particularly uncomfortable, the only thing I am usually able to focus on is the discomfort. However, I have learned that the typical outcome of these periods of discomfort is a growth spurt that propels me into a better place, with the perspective that only comes from having been through the experience. Sometimes I don't even realize that I've gotten to that new place until I think about where I've been.

This year has been full of new experiences. I have made uncharacteristically 'bold' changes in my work life and have learned to take more risks. I am learning to listen to my heart more, because some decisions cannot be made based on logic alone. I am also learning to trust my 'gut', because I have found that instinct is often a darn good resource that is not used nearly enough. In the past, when confronted with a big (and sometimes not so big) decision, I would analyze and re-analyze my options, going round and round in my head until I was mentally drained. I thought this was the rational way to go about these things but really, I was compulsively obsessing and fearful of making a mistake. My obsession was blocking the inner guidance that I could have been utilizing, had I been able to see it.

That's one of the things I have learned: we each have an internal "GPS" that can guide us through some of life's more precarious situations. Too often it's hidden behind a lifetime of clutter: all those "should've, could've, would've"s and "what-if"s that keep us stuck. Sometimes it's hidden so deeply that something as innocuous as choosing from a menu can seem overwhelming! There are many ways to access this guidance but the key component, for me at least, is the ability to listen for the answer. Asking for guidance, through prayer or meditation or whatever method works best for you is only half of the equation...what good is asking the question if you are unable to hear the answer? That's the part that I've been working on this year, although I didn't realize it at first. Sometimes guidance is clever like that...it just sneaks up on you. Sometimes the key to unlocking it is just being willing to listen.

Gratitude

2010-10-04T11:18:00.001-05:00

"The root of joy is gratefulness...It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful."

— Brother David Steindl-Rast

Monday morning...beginning of a new week, full of things to do. I have an unusually full "To Do" list and a limited time to get everything accomplished. Suffice it to say, I woke up feeling a bit overwhelmed!

Thankfully, in the midst of a conversation, I had a moment of clarity, in which I remembered how wonderful and full my life is, right at this moment. I was granted a pause, some "breathing room," where I truly felt how fortunate I am...and I was filled with gratitude.

I mentioned this "revelation" to the person with whom I was speaking, and she observed that part of the blessing was the ability to recognize, in the moment, how grateful I am for my life. So many people, she continued, fail to realize and appreciate how beautiful their lives are until they reflect upon them at the end. She said that it was truly a gift to be able to appreciate one's live as it's being lived...I like that.

After the conversation, I reflected on how absolutely amazing my life is and how grateful I am for all of it.

That's not to say that it's perfect (far from it!) or that there are some lessons that I would have preferred to learn in a less painful way, or even some parts I would have liked to skipped all together.

But the reality is, that each and every event, painful or wonderful, was necessary to get me to this exact moment...sitting on my couch, in my pajamas, cat by my side, typing these words.

I think it's important to acknowledge and cultivate gratitude...it's much easier to focus on the bad stuff. But really, is that how you want to spend your time? Thinking about what could go wrong, what you don't like about your life, complaining? I used to be that person...I have worked really hard to change that. It's not always easy, but I'm here to tell you, it makes life SO much sweeter!

So, thank you, dear readers, for giving me the opportunity to share these thoughts with you.

2010-10-01T08:53:00.000-05:00

"Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable."

— Mary Oliver

I am continually amazed by the notion that we are surrounded by miracles each and every day, if we are just willing to open our eyes to the possibility that they exist. I used to think that miracles only came in BIG packages: you know, the parting of the Red Sea, stuff like that.

What I have learned is that we are indeed surrounded by little, baby miracles each and every day...we just need to look for them.

Case in point: I have seen people make unbelievable changes in their lives, watched people survive tragic losses...in fact, I have had these things happen in my own life.

I often wonder how many little miracles I missed out on because I was looking for the ones with all the 'bells and whistles'? I have learned to appreciate the nuances of the miraculous...all the little subtle whispers that can slip by if you're not careful.

For me, gratitude is intrinsically connected to my ability to appreciate those little nuances. When I am truly grateful for my life as it is in this moment, somehow my vision changes. I have a clearer perspective on all the good that surrounds me.

There's a park not far from my home that is a favorite spot for all the nannies and dog owners in the neighborhood. Years ago, it used to be a favorite hang out for some unsavory characters. Now it is a lovely little haven in the middle of the city...beautifully landscaped, well maintained...it even has a fountain!

When I am full of gratitude, walking through that park is blissful...when I'm not...well, let's just say, I am focusing on making my way around all the people who are "in my way".

For me, that's the miracle...same park, same people...but my attitude makes a world of difference on the way I experience them.

Have a fantastic weekend everyone...soak up all the miracles that surround you!

Inspiration....

2010-09-25T11:00:00.000-05:00

The fall season officially started this week. Although I love each season for different reasons (well, I don't really love winter, but...), if I had to pick just one, fall would probably be it. The weather is a bit cooler and I get to pull out all my favorite, cuddly sweaters and boots. I grew up in New England where the fall foliage is second to none. The trees explode with color and I used to love to jump in my car, drive up the Merritt Turnpike and soak in all those rich, succulent colors. I miss that...

Fall also means that I get to spend more time in the kitchen. I follow a few fantastic food blogs and find inspiration in the recipes and beautiful pictures that they share. I am looking forward to taking advantage of the last few weeks of the farmer's markets and making soups and baked goods to share with my friends. And, yes...it's almost lasagna weather, guys!

I am fortunate to have so many fabulous people in my life! Supportive, kind, loving people...all on their own path, each with their own special gifts to contribute. I have some amazing and talented people in my circle of friends.

I think that inspiration is contagious. When you do something you love, it shows and that is an attractive quality.

I have a dear friend whose home is a perfect reflection of who she is...it's warm, inviting, comfortable, and full of items and souvenirs that have special meaning for her. You just feel good when you're there. It's like a little cocoon...delicious! After spending the evening there recently, I came home and had the strong desire to re-arrange my apartment. I wanted to recreate that feeling in my home. Inspiration works like that sometimes. It makes you reevaluate your life and strive for something better.

Where do you find inspiration?

I'd love to hear what you have to say....you never know who you might inspire by sharing your gifts with the rest of us!

New beginnings

2010-09-19T10:08:00.000-05:00

It's been quite a week, filled with new beginnings, change, and a celebration acknowledging what is and good things to come.

I celebrated my birthday with two special friends, making vision boards. A vision board is sort of like a collage except it is filled with photos and phrases representing all your dreams for the future. It was an incredibly meaningful experience and a whole lot of fun!

A few days later, I found out that a dear friend was moving back to Europe...next week! Although she and everyone who has had the pleasure of meeting her would rather have her stay here, it has become clear that staying in Chicago is not where she is meant to be at this time. It's been amazing to witness all the "blessings" that have occurred during this transition: everything necessary for the move has appeared. So many people have come together to help and it's been a privilege to watch this unfold. It is a wonderful example of the power of faith and service.

My therapist once told me that if something is meant to be, there is nothing that I can do to stop it from happening; conversely, if something is not meant to be, no amount of force or manipulation will make it so....no matter how badly I want it.

I thought of this today as I reflected on my friend's situation: no matter how badly I want her to stay, right now, at this point, it is not meant to be. Clearly, her beautiful spirit is needed back home. The ways in which everything has unfolded supports this move. Who knows what is in store for her? Who knows what's in store for any of us?

What I have learned over the years is, fundamentally, all is well. I have always been taken care of and I have faith that, if I continue living my life with integrity, that will continue. I know that my life just works better when my spiritual connection is strong. Daily meditation and prayer help me maintain that connection. Having a positive attitude and surrounding myself with like minded people helps me to notice all the blessings in my life as well as the lives of others. It also makes life a heck of a lot more fun! I have had remarkable experiences simply because I chose to say yes to opportunities that presented themselves in my life.

Let go...

2010-09-12T22:29:00.000-05:00

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.

-- Joseph Campbell

"Letting Go" seems to be on everyone's mind lately. I have had several conversations over the last few days in which this topic has come up. I don't believe in coincidences. I don't need to know why...I just need to pay attention.

Once upon a time, I had some issues with control. I thought that having control of a situation meant that I would save myself from getting hurt. If I had all my bases covered, I would be prepared for anything. What I learned was that control is a myth and there are no guarantees in life. Change is inevitable; nothing stays the same.

I was tremendously afraid of change...I don't like surprises.

Now I know that there is very little in my life that I can control. In fact, by letting go, even just the littlest bit, I open myself up to all sorts of possibilities. I have no idea what the future holds...but I do know that I need to get out of the way and let life happen. I have faith that, no matter what happens, I will be taken care of. I need to show up for my life now...not obsess about the past or worry about the future. Those behaviors are simply a waste of precious time.

If you had asked me a decade ago to describe what my life would look like today, you can bet that I would not have dreamed that it could be this good! Like most people, I have had my share of challenges, but even so, my life is better than I could have imagined. Now I choose to look for the miracles.

Embrace your life and all the gifts in it...just don't hold on too tight.

Give your life a little room to breathe...see what surprises are waiting for you!

"Live your life with arms wide open..." ~~~Unwritten (Natasha Bedingfield)

In remembrance...

2010-09-11T22:06:00.000-05:00

Today is the 9th anniversary of 9/11. Time has not made the memories of that horrific day seem any less unreal. My heart goes out to those who lost someone they loved and I pray for everyone whose lives were affected that day.

Change is in the air.....

2010-09-07T22:32:00.000-05:00

It's time to be the star of your own life! (paraphrase)

Well, the holiday weekend is past and, with it comes the official end of summer. We are in a period of transition...no longer summer, not quite fall....change is in the air.

This summer has been one of tremendous change for me and while some of the changes were quite obvious (i.e. leaving my job, starting my business), some were more subtle. I've been reflecting on these changes and have come to the realization that many of them occurred because I chose to be an active participant in my life. I made a decision to say YES!! It's amazing how many experiences presented themselves by saying that one little word...I made fabulous new friends, tried some incredible new things (Vedic meditation, for one), and found a great new gelato spot, just to name a few.

Do you feel like your living your life on 'auto-pilot'? Ready to take a chance? Try something new? Shake it up???

Try saying YES!!!

Shake off all the "baggage" that's holding you back....all the doubts, fears, and 'what ifs".

Step into the spotlight and be the star in your life!

Patience

2010-08-30T10:37:00.000-05:00

...remember that everything that will occur in your life will occur in its own time.

~~~Daily Om

I never considered myself a patient person. Always curious, I was five steps ahead of wherever I was trying to figure out what was coming around the next corner. I was never content to just be where I was. To me, life was a riddle just begging to be figured out...there just had to be a prize waiting for whoever figured it out first, right?

Um.....not quite.

Life has its own set of rules and its very own timetable, which, more often than not, is NOT synchronized with mine. Life has a funny way of reminding me that I am not in charge of the universe or, at the very least, my own little life! Sometimes it seems the more desperate I am for an answer, the longer it takes to arrive. The more anxious I am to find the resolution to whatever issue I'm struggling with, the more detours appear on my path. I have learned that life does not respond well to force...at least that has been my experience.

But wait...there's more!

The good news is that when I am able to extricate myself from that proverbial driver's seat and plop myself down in the passenger's seat, I am able to get out of my own way and let life happen! I can appreciate the scenery from the passenger seat in ways that I can't when I'm "driving". I just need to strap myself in and enjoy the ride!

Makes me wonder how much I missed when I was so busy trying to orchestrate (aka control) everything to happen in exactly the way I thought it should...which of course it never did.

I have come to believe that there is a bigger picture, and I do not have access to all the details. That's ok...I know that the details will come when I'm ready to receive them. For me, patience, trust, and faith are woven together and act as a security blanket that I can reach for when things in my life seem unmanageable. Everything works out in exactly the way it's meant to...whether or not I like the results.

Sometimes the end result is even better than anything I could have imagined...

The Present

2010-08-23T22:35:00.000-05:00

"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy."
— Guillaume Apollinaire

The last few weeks have been a bit hectic.

My life is full and for that I am extremely grateful; there was a time, not too long ago, when that was not the case. Obsessing on all the things that might happen, caused me to play it way too safe in many areas of my life, while being reckless in others. I later understood that fear had held me captive, often disguised as perfectionism or procrastination. Thank goodness I have learned that perfection is a myth and procrastination robs me of precious time.

I spent time by the water this weekend, allowing myself the necessary luxury of being present. I was hypnotized by the ebb and flow of the waves, captivated by the way the gulls danced through the air, and savored the feeling of my feet buried in the soft, cool sand. I realized that my well being and peace of mind require regular doses of sitting in the sand, staring out over the water. There is just something about being near the water that soothes my soul.

What I have learned is that, unless I allow myself to hit the proverbial 'pause' button, I am incapable of being fully present for my life and the people in it; I run on auto-pilot. I once thought that the more I could squeeze into a day, the better. I was a big fan of the notion that 'whoever dies with the most toys, wins.'

That is no longer the case.

I have a new-found appreciation for the simpler things in life; those things that money cannot buy. Don't get me wrong, I get a little jolt of excitement from buying something new, just like everyone else...in fact, I can lose my mind (for a second) over a fabulous pair of new shoes! But I get a different kind of jolt from being fully present in my life...everything just seems to be magnified. Being fully present requires that I not be weighed down with extraneous "stuff" : outdated beliefs, negativity, resentments. All those things act as barriers that prohibit me from seeing the beauty that surrounds me and prevent me from being grateful.

Stop for a minute.

Breathe...

What are you grateful for?

The Wall

2010-08-19T22:07:00.000-05:00

"It takes courage to push yourself to places that you have never been before...to test your limits...to break through barriers.

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to Blossom."

— Anais Nin

Years ago, I prided myself on being a tomboy, a wise a**, a tough chick. I would never let anyone see my weakness or my fears, including myself...yes, they were hidden that deep! I remember my mom once telling me I was "hard"; I didn't know what she meant then, but I certainly didn't take it as a compliment. Years later, I understood that all that bravado and mouthiness was my attempt to cover up a whole lot of fear. I had built a wall up around me for protection (from what exactly, I didn't know)...I thought it kept me safe, but what it did was kept me trapped.

The ironic thing was that even with that 5 foot thick invisible wall surrounding me, I got hurt. I trusted people I probably shouldn't have, I gave my heart to men I should have run from, I had lapses in judgement that stung...a lot. Life happens.

There are as many ways to construct a "wall" as there are people who think they need to do so. Some women won't let anyone see them without their "face" on, some people overeat to make themselves "invisible", some people can't throw away aluminum foil or magazines or newspapers or clothes that no longer fit (in case that day comes when they need _____), some people engage in compulsive behaviors (exercising, shopping or drinking too much or starving themselves or bingeing)... the list goes on.

Making the decision to take a peek over that wall is hard! Choosing to release the vise grip on our emotions is scary. Trusting that there is Someone or Something that loves us unconditionally is risky...but SO worth it. Believing that we will be taken care of (even if we don't know exactly what that looks like) can seem impossible...but it doesn't have to be.

Over the last decade I have worked hard to dismantle the wall I lived behind for most of my life...it was not always easy, but it was definitely worth the effort. Every once in awhile I need to catch my breath behind the little pile of bricks that remain, but today, I don't stay there. I no longer live my life behind that wall, and guess what? The most amazing things have happened and I experience grace.

Are you ready to take a chance? Come on...you can do it! Ease one tiny brick out of the wall...take a peek... what do you see?

Just in case...

2010-08-15T21:49:00.000-05:00

"Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would just be... a prudent insurance policy."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

"Eat, Pray, Love" opened this weekend. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the book, it is the story of a woman's year long journey of self discovery which takes her through Italy, India, and Indonesia. Julia Roberts portrays the main character in the film. I have not seen the film yet, but the book had a profound impact on me when I read it several years ago.

I had just endured a particularly painful loss the year before and was at the point where I didn't think I could survive another tragic event and didn't much care whether or not I did. I had no words to accurately describe how beaten up I felt; it was as if I had emotionally checked out, unable to register any more pain. I was in shock, actually, but felt like I was sleepwalking, my body covered with nerve endings that were on hyper alert and overload.

It sucked!

I had packed a box with all the items that I couldn't bear to get rid of, for various reasons: the memories, the hint of cologne, the last effects that the hospital staff packed up for me. I put them all in a cardboard box and sealed it with packing tape. I placed the box in a closet. Just knowing it was there was comforting; it was like a security blanket...sort of.

Last year, I opened the box. I arrived at the decision to do so over the course of a few months, and one day, I got out the box cutter and sliced open the packing tape seal. Before I raised the flaps, I was transported momentarily to the day when I had placed the last item in and sealed the box; it seemed like another lifetime. I realized then that I was not the same woman...I had changed...I had survived.

I gently removed each item until the box was empty, pausing to inhale the scent that had once lingered on a few of the pieces of clothing; it was gone. All the significance that each item once held for me had moved into my heart...the items themselves were just things: sweaters, a pillow, a bathrobe. I had been holding onto them because I thought I needed them, thought they gave me strength...or something. I held onto them...just in case.

That day I could see them for what they actually were...just stuff that once belonged to someone I loved. Holding onto them would not bring him back...I needed to let them go.

Holding onto the past keeps us stuck there. Hanging onto possessions that no longer serve us leaves us unable to be open to receive the gifts of the present. Imagine walking through life with your hands clenched into fists all the time...how could you give or receive anything but the tiny amount that you clung to so tightly? Sometimes you have to release your grip and let go...and trust that there is someone/thing to catch you.

I remember a game we used to play when we were kids...I forget the name.

You stood with your back to another person and, when you were ready, let yourself fall backwards into their arms. The scariest, but also the most fun scenario was when the other person would catch you at the last minute, just before you thought you were going to hit the ground.

Still holding on to something...just in case?

Just...let...go!

Taking chances...

2010-08-09T21:24:00.000-05:00

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend! I finally saw "Inception"...and it deserves all the hype it's been getting! RUN, don't walk to see this movie....

OK...that's my two cent movie plug...on to the latest post!

So, I've been thinking a lot this week about taking chances and pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone. As I've mentioned in earlier posts, I started my own business this year-- a personal home and office organization service called Edited Space. Many well meaning friends cautioned me to think carefully about leaving my safe, perfectly good job (steady salary, health benefits, 2 weeks paid vacation...you get the idea) to branch out on my own...especially in this economy.

Normally, I think I am about as much of a risk taker as the next person, so this was a BIG DEAL even for me! I relied on the knowledge that I am really good at what I do as well as the faith that I would be taken care of...whatever the outcome. I also knew...in my gut...that it was time for me to take a leap of faith. I didn't have a clear picture of what this new adventure looked like, but I did know what the situation I was in did...and I didn't like it. It didn't feel good anymore; it was no longer a good fit...for me. I felt as if I was on auto-pilot and I woke up one day and knew that I couldn't live my life like that anymore.

And so I held my breath...and...I...jumped!

I'm thrilled to report that business is steady and I feel good about the work that I'm doing. I know I'm helping people and being of service, and it feels pretty amazing. I look forward to what the future holds.

My meditation teacher was in town last week and he shared something that I think is fitting here:

He discussed the nature of paradox and how sometimes what we think is normal, actually isn't.

He reminded us of the definition of insanity (doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results) and said that playing it safe is actually the more risky choice.

It reminds me of watching a dog chase his tail: he just goes round and round and doesn't actually go anywhere. Choosing to venture into the unknown is actually the wiser choice because taking chances allows us to spread our wings and prove that we can fly!

What will you choose?

What are you waiting for?

2010-08-02T22:21:00.000-05:00

‎"You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling." (Inception)

OK....I just LOVE this quote! I found it yesterday and immediately posted it to my Facebook page. It's a great reminder that anything is possible.

Not too long ago (several years, actually), I lived my life worried about all the things that could go wrong. I over-analyzed every possible decision and in the end, talked myself out of doing a lot of things I wanted to do. All the things I was worried about never happened because I didn't risk anything.

A few years ago, my world got turned upside down...and you know what? I survived.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that it was easy, because it wasn't. To paraphrase John Lennon, I got by with a LOT of help from my friends. But I learned that 'life' happens whether you're out there living your life or you're hiding in your house trying to play it safe. Stuff just happens....and we go on.

Since then, I have learned how to take chances...not reckless ones, but ones that push me out of my comfort zone. For me, that's what makes life fun...doing things that challenge me. If things don't work out, I dust myself off and get back in the game, sometimes with a few scrapes, but nothing that won't heal. I've also learned that the more I remain open, the more opportunities become available...or maybe I can see them because I'm open.

Funny how that happens...

So, open up... take a chance, make some room, and dream BIG!

Then put on your seatbelt...and hold on!

Getting unstuck...

2010-07-27T22:48:00.000-05:00

Clutter is stuck energy. The word "clutter" derives from the Middle English word "clotter," which means to coagulate - and that's about as stuck as you can get. ~~~Karen Kingston

This quote came to mind during my evening meditation. (I posted it recently on my Facebook business page for Edited Space.)

Right after that, I thought of my friend, S, who reminds me to "open your heart chakra!"

There's a connection.

My meditation teacher uses an analogy (he has a few really great ones, actually), where he asks us to visualize an old garden hose lying in a muddy puddle. Dirt and debris and other unwanted items have caused the hose to become clogged. The only way to clear the clogged hose is to run clean water through it. At first, the water just comes out in a muddy stream...doesn't appear to be working, huh? The thing is, it takes time to loosen all that clutter; but if you keep running a steady stream of water through the hose, eventually the water will run clean. You have to trust the process.

He compares our negative thoughts to the mud & debris in that old hose. Sometimes, these unwanted thoughts, behaviors, habits have become so embedded in our lives that they have 'coagulated' and become stuck. We can only flush them out by introducing healthy, positive replacements.But first, some housecleaning is necessary...we have to clear out the old stuff to make room for the new. It could get messy...but it's worth the effort!

So, take that first step: identify something that you can do TODAY to start the process of clearing out that clogged part of your life. Make room for something new...something better than what was there before.

Your life cannot flow easily if you have obstacles blocking the way...clear the way...keep it open...take a deep breath and...go!

Give yourself a little room to...breathe!

Storms...

2010-07-24T09:46:00.000-05:00

So, unless you are a REALLY deep sleeper, you might have noticed that we had a little rain last night...

in fact, what we had was more along the lines of a crazy downpour, complete with big BOOMS of thunder and brilliant flashes of lightning!

It was INTENSE!

As I sit in front of my trusty Mac this morning, I started thinking about how clean everything looks after a big storm. It occurred to me that there was an analogy in there...sometimes, we have to endure the process of working through a mess in order to emerge renewed. You could apply this line of thinking to any number of situations, from a cluttered physical space, such as a closet or home office, to a messy relationship that is hard to break free from.

I spent yesterday afternoon with a new friend, and over coffee and dessert, we started sharing incidents from our pasts. So many of us have shared similar life experiences...the good, the bad, and the ugly. Thankfully, my friend and I have both learned that we can choose to stay stuck in the past, pointing fingers and blaming others, or we can move on. For me, making the choice to move on often means that I have learned a lesson from the experience and will, hopefully, not make the same mistake in the future. It also means that I have come out on the other side of an often painful, usually messy situation as a different person. I have learned something about myself, and in that process, there has been a shift and I have changed.

I know in my life, things usually make sense in hindsight...I review my past and I can see how, seemingly unrelated events are actually connected and have led me to where I am today. I came to Chicago many years ago on a whim (one day I will share the story...it's a hoot!), but today I know that I needed to be here to meet the people I have met and have the experiences I have had (and some were NOT good) to have the life I have today. And for that, I am grateful.

So next time you find yourself in the middle of a storm, remember this...it will get messy but, if you keep moving forward, you will eventually come out the other side...and you may even see a rainbow!

Make room for....

2010-07-20T17:29:00.000-05:00

...opportunity...change...growth...your life!

I am a professional organizer. I help people clear away clutter, purge excess "stuff", and devise a personalized system to make their home (or office) space work in an efficient manner. My intention is to carve out a peaceful and serene space in an otherwise hectic environment.

Clutter is more than an overabundance of possessions: clothes, books, papers. For some people, there are other implications: compulsive behavior, self-preservation, addiction. I make no claim to be a medical professional, but I have had experience with compulsive behaviors. I have found that over-spending and, in extreme cases, "hoarding", often mask a deeper issue. For some, surrounding themselves with "stuff" acts like a child's security blanket...it makes them feel safe. What I know is that without addressing the root cause, the compulsive behavior will continue, often manifesting in other ways.

I am a teeny bit controlling...ok, I admit it. I like pretty things and I like order. From time to time, I get a bee in my bonnet and need to reorganize my closets...sometimes in the middle of the night. Call me crazy, but I enjoy it. Why am I holding on to those pretty, 4" heels? I haven't worn shoes like that in years! What I have learned is that by releasing my grip on things that are no longer useful or relevant to my current situation, I make room for new things...literally and figuratively. The world opens up, bit by bit...

Try this...can you let go of one thing today? One book? One pair of shoes? One negative thought?

There...that wasn't so hard. Do you feel like you can breathe just a little easier?

Oh, happy day!

2010-07-18T20:58:00.001-05:00

OK...today was just so fabulous I had to share...

sometimes, all the stars line up just right and, with no help from me (translated: I get out of the way and just let things happen), things work out better than I could have ever expected.

Now, some people may not get all giddy over a day that ends with sharing my absolute favorite gelato with friends....but I am NOT one of those people!

Dinner was planned weeks ago...and it was pretty darn good. Even had a little history lesson thrown in. Plus, my very best friend stopped by so I could get a big smooch from my favorite 5 1/2 year old before they boarded the plane to go back home. But then...a very wise friend suggested that we go to my very favorite gelateria for dessert. How much can one girl take in a single day? And guess what? My absolute favorite flavor was featured in today's selection!!

Holy cow!

I have learned to appreciate grace in its many forms...even when it shows up in a little ice cream cup. I didn't always know how to do that...recognize grace in my life. I used to think that grace had to show up BIG...now I know better. Sometimes grace is as simple as the way my cat snuggles with me when he knows I'm home for the night and he has me all to himself.

I have come to believe that miracles are all around us, just waiting to be noticed. Some may not agree with me...that's OK. What I know is that taking the time to acknowledge and appreciate these little miracles makes me happy.

Interesting phenomenon: the more I appreciate them, the more I seem to notice. Funny how that works, huh?

Do-over

2010-07-17T23:46:00.000-05:00

SO....my first week in blog-land has been pretty weak. I am not making a very good first impression....my apologies. I am still getting the hang of this stuff!

First, what is the purpose of this blog? Initially, I planned to use this as a forum to share organization tips and promote my home and office organization business, Edited Space. Upon reflection, I decided that I wanted this to be more than just...that.

Edited Space began as a way for me to help others restore order to their lives by eliminating the excess "stuff" that one accumulates over the course of a lifetime. As it has developed, the business has evolved into a way to create some room to "breathe"...both literally and figuratively. As such, I have decided that I would like this blog to address this concept of creating "breathing room" in our lives.

Obviously, each of us has a different idea of what room to breathe looks like: a bubble bath, a walk on the beach, dancing in the grass at an outdoor concert...the options are endless and as individual and perfect as each one of us.

So, my intention for this blog is to be a mix of things that bring a smile to my face and make me say..."ah!"

That's "breathing room"...and I look forward to sharing this with you!

Welcome.....

2010-07-09T09:39:00.000-05:00

Thanks for joining me on my first blog...I'm looking forward to taking this journey with you...

and away we GO!